Wednesday, December 16th, 2009 at 5:00pm

I woke up this morning exhausted but with a smile.

Time flies by so quickly that I find it hard to place myself firmly in this churning river of stories and undercurrents, pulling me every which way. I wonder sometimes about the stories that make up our sense of self.. the images in our minds that combine to give us a sense of identity, presence, and being.

…I ask “why?”

Every story takes me into a newly created reality, a new step; but then i inevitably remember that there is nothing new under the sun.. matter is neither created nor destroyed.. energy recycles itself into images, tastes, and sounds that mesh together into some sort of massive conglomerate of endless buzzing stories.

I feel them left and right.
Up and down. Multidimensional. Zooming past me..

I look into the faces of friends and strangers and it’s as if i can hear all their emotions gathered up behind them, in the air around them, talking a million miles per second in a chaotic frenzy. Even the voices that are silent weigh heavily and bludgeon a dark, powerful path.

Sometimes i awake and question everything i know with my own silent voice..
A choking pain seizes my chest, grips my body, and holds me forcefully still.

In that moment, that terrifying moment of Existence fragmenting in my mind, a deep knowing rises from my gut and spills forth into my body.. arms and legs, slowly making its way up until it reaches my eyes.

The buzzing quiets..

And I am reminded to love.

There is no reason in this world. We have to cleanse ourselves somehow in the madness.